Thank you to everyone for checking out my Open Letter the other day. Really reinforces that I know I’m right about this one. I may not be right about a lot of things, but I am about this. And for those inquiring minds, he tried to text me yesterday. I just deleted it. 😉
As promised, I’m asking for your help in writing my online dating profile. I’ve been putting it off and after this latest fiasco, I’m not delaying another minute. So friends, what would you write in my profile?
Have to add a few photos of course, so which ones would you add and which one would you use as the primary?
Me at my friend’s wedding
Me at the Great Wall of China
Taken one day after class on the East Beach in Toronto
Me in India (3)
My typical profile pic
Me on the balcony at Napean Sea Road in Mumbai in 2006
Friends in HK
Alternatively, I’ve had an offer to re-do some head shots. Might need to do that sooner rather than later. 😉
I have been more than understanding to this point and I really need to get this off my chest (no sexual comment intended in case you weren’t sure).
I have been more than understanding when you’ve cancelled our “date”, by which you defined as “getting together to do something”. At one time, that would have at least meant getting some out of it (and yes the sexual comment was intended here). But I haven’t.
It’s not that I don’t believe you when you tell me that you can’t make it because:
Broken heart 2×2
- You’re tired
- You’re sick
- You were in a fender bender yesterday
- You’ve got your kids unexpectedly tonight
- You had to work late
- You have to work early tomorrow
- You have to go out of town
- You physically can’t move
- You’ve had a shitty day and you shouldn’t be around other people right now
- and a million other reasons
…it’s that it’s always something that doesn’t involve me and it’s always SOMETHING. Do you think that I don’t have this at all? Of course I do. But guess how many times I’ve cancelled: 0. That’s right. NONE. Regardless of what I had going on, I still made time for you. I’ve put stuff off to make time for you. I’ve even tried to involve you in my plans and you avoid every possible chance to meet any of my friends or attend anything that involves them.
Having tried my best over the last few years (and yes, I do mean years) to put you out of my head, you keep coming back and I keep putting up with the same excuses that prevent me mentally and emotionally from moving on to anyone else who might actually appreciate me. This might include the fact that I haven’t responded to many of the messages that I’ve received from the online dating service because I’m hoping beyond hope that you will finally wake up and put me at least in the top three on your priority list.
Screw you. I should be first. Just this once and that’s where I’m going to place myself: First. Call me selfish, but when you cancel on me 7 times since September and only make two meetups, I’m really done. I deserve better. Heck, tonight, I even considered calling in the Indian Aunties to arrange the marriage for me! Do you see what you’ve driven me to?
And you know what’s funny? Neither one of you will probably even read this. I’ve said it before to your face and now I’ll say it again to the world: You’re a bigger coward than I thought you were.
As Rowan Atkinson said in his priest sketch for “We Are Most Amused…”, “Here ends the lesson.”
Next up: “Crowdsourcing My Online Dating Profile” and “Who Wants To Find Me A Date? Preferably A Millionaire”
"JD" may not have been the first, but he made one of the biggest impressions.
Describe the first person who broke your heart
He may not have been the first, but it was certainly one of the most memorable. I started dating “JD” five days before turning 17. I’d dated one of his friends and when he broke it off, he tried to hand me off to JD. Well, it worked.
We dated for just over a year and I broke it off with him after having bought him a gold chain for our one year anniversary. I found out on my 18th birthday that he had cheated on me three, maybe four, times a few months earlier while I’d been in France for two weeks. I cried and went to the office to sign myself out for the rest of the day from school. I’d been signing myself out for almost a year now, but the staff never noticed. But on this day, I walked in and the principal asked me how I was doing. I said I didn’t feel well and that I wanted to go home. “You look fine to me,” he replied, my eyes all red and puffy. The secretary behind the desk asked: “Are you 18?, to which I replied, “As a matter of fact, as of today I am. Goodbye.”
I still let him come to my birthday party that afternoon, but most of my friends boycotted it since they didn’t think he should be allowed to go. A few showed up and we still had a bit of fun, and a short time later, I took him back…kind of. Within a few weeks, I got bored of him and moved on. A number of years later, we met up at a house warming party for a mutual friend of ours. By the end of the night, he cried and cried, claiming that I was the best thing that ever happened to him and he had screwed it up. I told him that it had been so long ago, that it didn’t really matter, but I guess it did. I haven’t seen him since.