Don’t Be Mad

Thanks to Val for this one. Perfectly my mind set right now from my Open Letter Post.

Don’t Be Mad…

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Crowdsourcing My Online Dating Profile

Thank you to everyone for checking out my Open Letter the other day. Really reinforces that I know I’m right about this one. I may not be right about a lot of things, but I am about this. And for those inquiring minds, he tried to text me yesterday. I just deleted it. 😉

As promised, I’m asking for your help in writing my online dating profile. I’ve been putting it off and after this latest fiasco, I’m not delaying another minute. So friends, what would you write in my profile?

Have to add a few photos of course, so which ones would you add and which one would you use as the primary?

Me at my friend’s wedding

Me on the balcony at Napean Sea Road in Mumbai in 2006

My typical profile pic

Friends in HK

Me in India (3)

Taken one day after class on the East Beach in Toronto

Me at the Great Wall of China

Alternatively, I’ve had an offer to re-do some head shots. Might need to do that sooner rather than later. 😉

Open Letter to All The Guys That We Single Girls Have Dated (Or At Least Tried To)

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I have been more than understanding to this point and I really need to get this off my chest (no sexual comment intended in case you weren’t sure).

I have been more than understanding when you’ve cancelled our “date”, by which you defined as “getting together to do something”. At one time, that would have at least meant getting some out of it (and yes the sexual comment was intended here). But I haven’t.

It’s not that I don’t believe you when you tell me that you can’t make it because:

Broken heart 2×2

1. You’re tired
2. You’re sick
3. You were in a fender bender yesterday
4. You’ve got your kids unexpectedly tonight
5. You had to work late
6. You have to work early tomorrow
7. You have to go out of town
8. You physically can’t move
9. You’ve had a shitty day and you shouldn’t be around other people right now
10. and a million other reasons

…it’s that it’s always something that doesn’t involve me and it’s always SOMETHING. Do you think that I don’t have this at all? Of course I do. But guess how many times I’ve cancelled: 0. That’s right. NONE. Regardless of what I had going on, I still made time for you. I’ve put stuff off to make time for you. I’ve even tried to involve you in my plans and you avoid every possible chance to meet any of my friends or attend anything that involves them.

Having tried my best over the last few years (and yes, I do mean years) to put you out of my head, you keep coming back and I keep putting up with the same excuses that prevent me mentally and emotionally from moving on to anyone else who might actually appreciate me. This might include the fact that I haven’t responded to many of the messages that I’ve received from the online dating service because I’m hoping beyond hope that you will finally wake up and put me at least in the top three on your priority list.

Screw you. I should be first. Just this once and that’s where I’m going to place myself: First. Call me selfish, but when you cancel on me 7 times since September and only make two meetups, I’m really done. I deserve better. Heck, tonight, I even considered calling in the Indian Aunties to arrange the marriage for me! Do you see what you’ve driven me to?

And you know what’s funny? Neither one of you will probably even read this. I’ve said it before to your face and now I’ll say it again to the world: You’re a bigger coward than I thought you were.

As Rowan Atkinson said in his priest sketch for “We Are Most Amused…”, “Here ends the lesson.”

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Next up: “Crowdsourcing My Online Dating Profile” and “Who Wants To Find Me A Date? Preferably A Millionaire”

Doctor Who

<rant>

Those who know me know that I am a huge Doctor Who fan. Not only did I work in a comic store and go out as Doctor Who one year for Halloween, but I also show my knowledge by naming all of them in order. However, I have a confession to make: I haven’t been very fond of the latest incarnation, Matt Smith. Though I will still watch them (and probably go back and watch the episodes from the latest one), I think I’ve figured out part of the problem. It’s not that the story lines are bad or that the acting sucks, but that it has somehow lost its charm. That perhaps the viewers of the last three Doctors think that’s all there is.

Case in point: Space Channel has been showing these specials on Doctor Who that are really quite interesting. Topics include “The Women of Doctor Who”, “The Companions”, “The Destinations”, and more. Really cool right? The only problem is that they are only showing the last three Doctors. When Star Trek specials are shown, they usually talk about all of the series, from the original to the “Next Generation” and so on. Not these. In most cases, we are fortunate if we see two of the last three incarnations. The one I watched tonight actually showed Christopher Ecceleston and I was shocked! Maybe this has something to do with the fact that these specials are produced not by BBC, but by BBC America. I also find it interesting that IMDB has seen fit to disconnect the series by separating it into two or more series, one beginning in 1963 and the other in 2005. The show was on hiatus for a few years, but does that really warrant a separation? It wasn’t a remake, it was a continuation.

All I’m trying to say here is that there is more to Doctor Who than the last three actors that have played this great character for 50 years, including my favourites, Tom Baker and David Tennant. Make sure that you enjoy all of what this show has to offer, not just the Americanized discussions and limit it there. </rant>

Tom Baker as Doctor Who and K-9 playing chess. Don’t remember where I got it, but shows the wonderful quirkiness of the “original” series.

 

Please Take Public Speaking

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I watched a presentation a couple of weeks ago and it was terrible. I had seen this presenter a week or two earlier and it had been fine. But the second time it was very unprofessional and I tuned it out almost immediately. I don’t know if it had to do with the change in audience, but no matter who you are presenting to, please be professional. Here are some of the points I noticed about this presentation (and some others for good measure):

• “Umm…” – I don’t know how many times this person used it, but it was bad. If you need a quick filler for a second or two there is nothing wrong with taking a breath. You don’t have to use “umm” if you’re thinking of the next thing to say. Just breathe.
• Fidgeting or crossing legs while standing – I’ve seen a couple of young women who do presentations and they cross their legs while standing. Why? It’s different if you are seated or if you’re leaning on a desk (as in leading a discussion, such as a professor does), but it puts you off balance and it doesn’t look right. They look like shy school girls and that is NOT what you should be portraying while making a pitch.
• Microphones – If there is a microphone, you don’t have to use it, but at least acknowledge that it is there and then before presenting, ensure that you can be heard by everyone in the room. The example I will give is when someone was obviously not comfortable with using a microphone, so chose not to use it. But no one could hear her, so the host had to interrupt her and give her the microphone. I’m not keen on using one either, but I can project my voice over a lecture hall of 500 students. Trust me, I don’t need one.
• Practice – At this same event, there were 4 presenters and I would say that 3 of the 4 had done very little public speaking. If you are planning on being an entrepreneur, you’re going to have to make a lot of presentations whether you like it or not. That could be to a couple of people in a coffee shop or to a lecture hall full of people or on television. Even the ones that had been on television didn’t present all that well. They obviously hadn’t rehearsed what they were going to say, they couldn’t remember what was in their slides and paused a lot.
• Never admit – This goes especially for the young women. Never admit that you don’t know what you’re doing, even if you don’t. Make a quick joke to diffuse the situation if something doesn’t go according to plan, but don’t make yourself look like an idiot.
• If you’re asking a question, ask a question – Again, this is for the women. The number of times I’ve seen women presenting who make statements as if they are asking a question is too many to count. It’s okay to ask questions, even “Does that make sense?” to get some acknowledgement from the audience. As a matter of fact, that’s good! But don’t make your voice go up at the end of the sentence as if asking a question if you’re not.

Sorry if these sound like they are being nasty, especially towards young women. I don’t profess to being a professional at public speaking, but I would hope that people would be aware of these, and if not, become so and correct them. Especially if you are going to be an entrepreneur, make sure that you can speak properly so that your pitch can be heard by those who need to hear it.

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