Annual Princess’s New Year’s Address – 2013

Thought I’d forgotten, hadn’t you? Delayed perhaps, but not forgotten.

It’s been an interesting year to say the least. Best thing I can say is that we didn’t lose anyone close in our family this year for the first time in years. We actually went from one Christmas to the next with the same number of people. My health took a turn for the worse last winter, but having resolved that, I’m still here. For that, I am truly thankful.

I’ve started in a role that I am extremely happy in, but I would just like to do more of it. But the move to Hamilton has certainly been a good one for me. It’s given me perspective and has introduced me to so many more people than I ever thought possible. I haven’t been doing much training over the last year in part because of the relocation, but I am optimistic that it will change in the coming year.

I’m going to keep the message short this year and simply say that I have many people and things to be thankful for this year and that the list is ever growing. To you all, I wish you health, wealth and happiness, wherever or in whomever you find it. Many thanks to each and everyone of you for making my life a better one by simply being a part of it.

Om Shanti.

Advertisement

My Mom’s Famous!

Just wanted to share that one of my favourite cakes from my mom’s repertoire was published today on this blog today. Everyone who knows her knows how great a cook and baker she is and for once, it’s nice to see her featured and not me. I know that I’m the one who put it out there to Carol, but I wanted to pay tribute to the woman who has kept me fed for years.

I remember once when I went to visit her at the recreation centre she worked at. By the time I arrived, all the cookies she had brought in that day had been consumed. One of the guys said, “Oh, sorry Shanta, there are no more cookies. Jealous?”. I simply replied, “I’ve had her cooking for the last 20 years or more and not just cookies. Now who’s jealous?”. And most people would agree that she is the best around. Love ya mom.

The Friend Bank

<rant>

My teacher once told me that friendship is like a bank. There has to be a balance and if the other party is making more withdrawls than deposits, you might need to rethink that relationship. I was reminded a couple of days ago about one of these stories and needed to get it off my chest.

A few years ago, I went to Hong Kong for an exchange program through Ryerson University. I had been rethinking my relationship with one of my closest friends. She was a single mother and did rely on me quite a bit, which I don’t mind. But when the connections I had helped make for her were being abused and the only time she called me was for help, I really needed to rethink where this was going. She was broke but still wouldn’t take a lower paying job because it was beneath her and there were times when she put her own needs before those of her daughter when it should have been the other way around. She had very little experience and a daughter to feed; not the time to be picky.

In August 2007, while waiting in the Chicago airport I wrote her an email suggesting that we take a break. I was going to be gone for 6 months and would be doing a little soul searching, so I thought it would be a good chance to take some time to think things through. I suggested that when I came home that we could go for coffee and see how things were. The response I got was not what I expected. She replied with comments like, “How dare you tell me how to raise my daughter?” and “I don’t ever want to speak to you again!”. I had been in her daughter’s life since the age of 6 months and she had just turned 8. I had said that we had always had “differences of opinion” when it came to raising her daughter and perhaps I went a little overboard. But when I think that her daughter could truly suffer because of the mother’s actions, it’s hard to keep one’s mouth shut, especially mine.

At Christmas, I sent out my Annual Princess Address and included her on the list. She politely replied, thanking me for the kind wishes and to please remove her name from my list. I did so and I never heard from her again… Until just before Christmas of this past year, four years after my last contact with her.

I had to read her message a couple of times before I really understood where she was going with her note. She said that she had been blaming me for the end of our friendship as an excuse to keep people at a distance and not to trust anyone. She had let go of it now and was feeling much better. Yippee. No where did she say that she was sorry about the way our friendship ended, that she might have misunderstood my message or anything as a mending process. Just blame. She BLAMED me and there was no further purpose than to write to me and tell me that she was right and I was wrong. She hasn’t changed. Would I want her back as a friend now? No. Would I love to know how her daughter is doing? Yes. Do I wish her well? Of course.

Another friend of mine asked me to be in his wedding party. I was thrilled! It hadn’t been the easiest of weddings to plan and there were some difficulties along the way, but we tackled them and we did it. There were some misunderstandings and the day after the wedding, he and his bride came to visit me and we sorted it out after a long talk. I then realized that I forgot to gave them the money from a couple of tickets that I sold for their stag and doe. They were leaving that afternoon for their honeymoon, so I emailed it to him. I got a reply that since I took money from their party that maybe I needed it more than they did. I can only surmise what they thought was me stealing from their fund, was actually getting reimbursed for something I had purchased for the party. The person in charge of the party handed me the money when I handed over the receipt. Now, my friend is accusing me of stealing. Me? He had known me for more than 10 years and I had even lent him money in the past when he didn’t have enough money to eat. I’d just worked everything out with you and now you’re going to accuse me of stealing? Checking the balance on the account, I could see that this loan was going to be a big risk. I never spoke to him again.

There was a song that he introduced me to years ago and every time I hear it, I think of him. Funny that since I told someone this story two days ago, it’s come up twice on a random setting in as many days.

These stories, thankfully, are few and far between. There are very few friends that I’ve actually had to terminate the friendship with. As a matter of fact, these may be the only two. The moral of this story is that sometimes you HAVE to let them go. I am blessed to have many friends that I can rely on and that can do so in return. I am sorry that I no longer have these people in my life, but I know that the bank account would be close to empty if I was draining it on these two and not investing it wisely in those around me now. Thank you to those who are investing in me and are helping to improve the world’s wealth by helping others.

</rant>

IKEA Commercial Brings Back Memories

Most of you have probably seen the following commercial done by IKEA, in which the kid is continually building a fort out of the couch and mom is continually taking it down. Take a look:

I wanted to share this because it reminds me of when my brother and I were younger living in Burlington. We had a family room that was magically transformed into a Sultan’s Oasis (took me moment to come up with something to describe it appropriately). In the commercial, the kid only uses the couch. My brother would construct a tent-like structure with blankets, pillows, couches, chairs and anything else he could find. It would take up the entire room and use every last pillow in the house. It would be constructed on a Friday evening and he and I would sleep there for both nights of the weekend. Takedown was on Sunday. I wanted to share this, well, because my brother is special and I love him for it. This commercial just brought back memories. I guess watching the new show “Touch” has also got me thinking about it. Just wanted to share.

I only wish I had pictures scanned for you, but I will attempt to do so and update the post thereafter. What commercial brings back memories for you?

Annual Princess’s New Year’s Address – 2012

As the Princess, it is my place to give you not the Christmas Address (such as the Queen of England does) but a New Year’s Message.

It has certainly not been the easiest year on record for me. I will not bore you with the details of the past, but instead, will share with you plans for the future. Many years ago, I told my cousins that I would never move to Hamilton. Well, let me say publicly, you were right. I completed my move and once the house is set up, I hope to have some people over for a proper open house, which has been lacking in the most recent years. I’m turning tragedy into opportunity by moving into the house my grandparents bought brand new 50 years ago. So, I’m calling it my new/old home. I’ve known it all my life. New year, new home, new city… new life.

This is a chance for me to reboot my life. I’m not so far away from my old life that I’m not going to have it any more, I just need a change of pace and expand my horizon a little bit.

If nothing else that life has taught me so far, it is to not take anything for granted. Don’t just wait around for something to happen, make it happen. No more procrastinating. This is the year I begin to live again.

I toast you all that are still part of my life and continue to support me on my journey, as I hope I have done in yours. May the new year be fruitful, auspicious and kind.

– Shanta

P.S. If you’re looking for my Bridget Jones post for the coming year, that will also come soon.

My Bucket List – Motorcycle Ride Out West

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2011/09/06/write-your-bucket-list/

Me and my Uncle Garry when I lived in Burlington

I’ve had a bucket list of sorts in my brain before, but have never really written it down.

Two weeks ago, my uncle passed away at the age of 56. He had just bought his first house six months ago from the estate of my Grandmother after she passed away in November of last year. He took his time figuring it out, but not too quickly either. Just the right amount of time.

Last Christmas, I brought him his first computer that he bought as a present to himself. In July, he had the internet hooked up and finally started enjoying using it. I had to pack it up last week to be taken from the house, because now it sits empty. He’d just got the internet two months ago.

One of the things he and his friend were discussing on the night before he died was the possibility of getting a couple of Harleys and doing a ride out west. He lived in Calgary for many years as part of a survey team, and I know he did enjoy it out there. I’ve always thought about getting my motorcycle licence, but never got around to it. Now I feel it is my duty to take that on for him. I’m not setting a deadline yet, but I’m going to do this ride as soon as I can.

There will be more on the list I’m sure, but this is a good start. Goodbye Uncle Garry.

What is the story behind your given name?

What is the story behind your given name?.

My first name “Shanta” is a Hindu name meaning “peaceful”. The more common name “Shanti” means “peace” and is more commonly heard in eastern chants such as “Om Shanti”.

When I was born, they said that I was so peaceful that they decided to give me the name of my paternal grandmother. It is truly an honour to have the same name as she.

She became bedridden shortly after my grandfather passed away. There she stayed for more than 12 years. Her hearing started going along with her eyesight. But she never complained. She would sit there day in and day out praying for the welfare of her children and grandchildren, like me.

I was fortunate enough to spend two months in India in her home and the last day I gave her, along with the other women of the household, including the servant, a dozen roses. I like to think that whenever she smelled roses, she would think of me. She passed away a few months later.

I can only hope that I will do her name justice and continue to bring peace.

Neeta

Neeta and Sarika

From my cousin Meera:

“Dear Friends and Family,
Neeta, my unstoppable little sister who tenaciously conquered every obstacle in her path, finally chose to rest at 3:30 this morning. She wanted to fight against this infection, and she did as hard as she could, but it was so very difficult for her. Her heart failed just minutes after we brought Sarika to her who sweetly waved goodbye. Neeta is now at peace. Of course, this news deeply saddens us, but we are relieved that she is liberated from her suffering.

Neeta had many challenges in her life, with the onset of kidney failure when she was a toddler, her kidney transplant as a teenager, numerous illnesses from rejections, and lastly, cancer, chemotherapy, and infection. Despite all that she had undergone, she never let her ailments erode her compassionate, courageous and spunky spirit, right up to Saturday when she was sedated. Nor did she allow her illnesses to limit her experiences of life and her ability to touch other people’s lives. She walked to the beat of her own drum.

Her life was full. She was student council president in junior high and high school, and valedictorian. She was a style fashionista like any other urbanite, but also loved the outdoors and the environment. In her twenties, she hiked, camped, and cross-country skied in the Rockies, and lived in a teepee in the small village of Argenta in the interior of British Columbia when she was a tree planter. Neeta had a forestry degree from Lakehead University and worked as a conservation officer in northern Ontario. Most recently she worked for an NGO that certified sustainable forestry practices, and was starting her own business as a currency trader, to give her the flexibility to work from home. Her most favourite pastime was being a masi (aunt) to her niece Sarika, whom she loved the very most in this world.

Though Tim and I were not able to respond to all your emails of love and prayers, we shared them all with her and it pleased her. She relied on all your energies and appreciated all your support. When she was just a toddler, I remember sitting with my mom in the reception of Sick Kids Hospital, asking if Neeta was going to die. Doctors had told us then that she had only 6 months to live. Somehow our family was blessed with 30 more years and we are so thankful for that.

Thank you for all your love and support. Please, don’t just be saddened by this news, but celebrate with us the rich life that she lived.

Love,
Meera”

UPDATE: I decided to update this the day after her birthday, 2012. She’s been gone for almost 3 years and she’s still with us. Here’s the tribute video done by Meera. Happy birthday Neeta. We still miss you.

Remembering a dear friend…again

Every year around this date, plus or minus a week, my dear friend Pierre always likes to throw a curve ball at me. Even though it seems that there is really nothing going on he always find something. He would have been 35 today. He died when he was 24, way before he should have and he has always been a constant reminder of why I’m alive and why we all should enjoy every single day that we have on this earth.

Yesterday was Saturday, August 22 and typically on Saturdays I’m at the dojo. I have now achieved my second degree black belt in Kobudo as well as the other disciplines, something I never thought I would ever achieve. Today I was assisting and an orange belt student on a particular kata and I was reminded of six years ago almost exactly to the day because it was six years ago today now being August 23 that I graded from my green belt in Kobudo, just as this gentleman is going to do next week and I found myself standing in the same place where Sensei stood that day and to watch me perform the same kata. That day, I froze and I recounted briefly the story to Sensei that I recall him going to his office in disappointment. I beat myself up on it for the next 45 minutes, then 15 minutes before the end of the class, he tapped on his window and gestured for me to do it again which I this time did without fail, so I think. When I was finished, I turned around and he simply turned to his desk. As I walked out of class, 15 minutes before the grading, I was presented with an invitation for 2:30. That was on August 23, 2003 that I achieved my green belts in Kobudo. I had recently taken up karate as well as tai chi. We had a blackout before which it’s very probably one of the most interesting relationships that I now have to date great nonetheless that certainly has kept my interest. That same year, I’d travelled to India and England twice and Hawaii.

Two years ago today I was on a plane heading for Hong Kong and spent the next five months there finding myself while having a heck of a time studying but I made it through. I was also reminded of that trip recently. A friend of mine has also begun her journey away from home for an extended period of time and though it seems daunting when you first get their you know you can make it through.

I’ve only had two regrets in my life. One of them was resolved recently so now I only have the one, which I will never repeat. I actually went out and found two have the people that I’ve lost touch with. One of them was the infamous one that got away. What happened to the one that got away? Well he seems very happy, probably with a life that I would not have given him or could not have given him. I guess it wasn’t meant to be. He was one of the regrets, but now I’m presented with an interesting opportunity: I haven’t talked to this person in more than 20 years and I’ve recently reconnected with them. It presents something interesting and hopefully it will continue to be so.

Pierre all due respect with a candle in your honour as I do every year and a drink to your health and help to celebrate your life. Funny enough this October 31 just as your sister did many years ago, my friends will be married and I will be one of the brides’ maids, 11 years to the day you’ve died I will celebrate their wedding. Another interesting year nonetheless. In your memory Pierre, I toast to you and play for you our song. Rest in peace, dear friend.