Open Letter to All The Guys That We Single Girls Have Dated (Or At Least Tried To)

<rant>

I have been more than understanding to this point and I really need to get this off my chest (no sexual comment intended in case you weren’t sure).

I have been more than understanding when you’ve cancelled our “date”, by which you defined as “getting together to do something”. At one time, that would have at least meant getting some out of it (and yes the sexual comment was intended here). But I haven’t.

It’s not that I don’t believe you when you tell me that you can’t make it because:

Broken heart 2x2

Broken heart 2×2

  1. You’re tired
  2. You’re sick
  3. You were in a fender bender yesterday
  4. You’ve got your kids unexpectedly tonight
  5. You had to work late
  6. You have to work early tomorrow
  7. You have to go out of town
  8. You physically can’t move
  9. You’ve had a shitty day and you shouldn’t be around other people right now
  10. and a million other reasons

…it’s that it’s always something that doesn’t involve me and it’s always SOMETHING. Do you think that I don’t have this at all? Of course I do. But guess how many times I’ve cancelled: 0. That’s right. NONE. Regardless of what I had going on, I still made time for you. I’ve put stuff off to make time for you. I’ve even tried to involve you in my plans and you avoid every possible chance to meet any of my friends or attend anything that involves them.

Having tried my best over the last few years (and yes, I do mean years) to put you out of my head, you keep coming back and I keep putting up with the same excuses that prevent me mentally and emotionally from moving on to anyone else who might actually appreciate me. This might include the fact that I haven’t responded to many of the messages that I’ve received from the online dating service because I’m hoping beyond hope that you will finally wake up and put me at least in the top three on your priority list.

Screw you. I should be first. Just this once and that’s where I’m going to place myself: First. Call me selfish, but when you cancel on me 7 times since September and only make two meetups, I’m really done. I deserve better. Heck, tonight, I even considered calling in the Indian Aunties to arrange the marriage for me! Do you see what you’ve driven me to?

And you know what’s funny? Neither one of you will probably even read this. I’ve said it before to your face and now I’ll say it again to the world: You’re a bigger coward than I thought you were.

As Rowan Atkinson said in his priest sketch for “We Are Most Amused…”, “Here ends the lesson.”

</rant>

Next up: “Crowdsourcing My Online Dating Profile” and “Who Wants To Find Me A Date? Preferably A Millionaire”

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11 comments on “Open Letter to All The Guys That We Single Girls Have Dated (Or At Least Tried To)

  1. I wrote something similar to this the other day. Any guy who starts making tons of excuses to bail on you is a coward, and really, do you want a coward as your partner? definitely not.

    People who are “too busy” are showing that they dont value your time, so get rid of them before you go any further as they probably will just end up disappointing you anyway. Next time they cancel see it as them doing you a favor, now you dont have to tell them to get lost since theyve gone and done it all by themselves. Perfect.

    Loneliness sucks, but its worse spending your time on someone who doesnt care about you how they should and how you deserve. Youll find someone, theres always someone out there even when it seems like there isnt temporarily. 🙂

    • Part of my problem is I’ve been single/lonely for so long that I keep taking them back. I’ve actually had people contact me on the dating site and I’ve shied away from them because of these two idiots hoping they will come around. But I’ve finally hit the wall and can’t take any more. Suggestions for the online profile?

  2. Maybe it is time to start bailing out on him. You are busy women, he should be happy when you finally make some time for him…Put all other things first and he will patiently wait in line to finally get some of your precious attention.

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    • I actually had a conversation with a friend of mine the other day about this very thing. I have to admit that I am still pessimistic and perhaps jaded, but I’m certainly not about to give up. Remember, self defence means that someone else has hit first, so in that regard I guess you’re right, Elizabeth. When it comes to romantic relationships, I am very protective of myself, perhaps a little too much.

  7. Sounds like you’ve had a similar issue. I won’t go into it. Some men are cowards… which is exactly what you said. It’s true. I don’t think they purposely do this to give you heartache.

    They just don’t have the skill to properly communicate to people to civilly cut ties. It’s misleading. I like someone to be frank, even if it hurts at first.

    *hugs* Dating sucks sometimes. Being 35 and dating… sucks even more. o.O

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